when I create the thickness from a quilt I do not have the special management option exclude surface

Is your quilt comprised of a single surface? Are you using the thicken feature or the offset feature? If you are using the thicken feature referencing a surface quilt, then the following applies: 

The Exclude Surfaces collector is not available for design situations involving quilts made of unique surfaces and quilts where all but one of the quilt surfaces have been excluded. You cannot exclude the last remaining quilt surface.