PTCooler "OffTopic"

Be blessed and have a great weekend. Do you ever go to a party and .....   Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction: *Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation *Important social contacts *A feeling of connectedness with other humans In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational objectives for social interactions: *Get it over with as soon as possible. *Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant. *Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.

Have terrific day and a blessed (long for those in the US) weekend.   Q. What do you give an electrical engineer for his birthday? A. Shorts   Two antennas got married .... the wedding was lousy, but the reception was great.   After suffering weak gains in the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize its base.   Enjoy (most of these are always borrowed from somewhere else).

(begin rant)I believe the new color scheme, (the retina burning white backgrounds) in Creo has destroyed my eyes. I have worked in the CAD biz since 1984. In that time I have operated a half a dozen or so CAD software and all the environments were: Dark room, dark screens, light text. NO Problemo! Fast forward to Creo.....and my eyes are strained and ache every day. I want to get the name and address of the "researchers" that told PTC that white was the new black.(end rant)

Have a terrific weekend!   An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant. Engineers have no life--and can PROVE it mathematically! If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.   Thanks, Dale

Many, many moons ago, had this in a spec book. I didn't keep it then but you can find anything on the internet these days. My copy wasn't australian, it was Oil Field Pipe Specs      

You might be an engineer if:   ... everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.   ...in college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.   ...the salespeople at Best Buy can't answer any of your questions.  

This is primarily intended for teams of Windchill/Creo/Server Administrator types; the people behind the scenes making stuff work. We've gone through several iterations of work management/issue tracking, and I'm beginning my research on the next phase and looking for advice.   What do you use for tracking Issues, enhancement requests, trouble tickets, working tasks/projects, go do stuff, etc? How do you maintain a closed loop tracking process of your work on Windchill, Creo, and other PTC products?   Do you use Windchill PDMLink? (PR's for problems, CR's to initiate changes, WTParts to represent Servers or Products) Maybe Windchill ProjectLink? (Plans, Activites, Deliverables, Tasks) What about other PTC products? Integrity, WC Quality Solutions....? A third-party product/service? Sharepoint, Bugzilla, Asana, Taiga.io, Jira, Trello, Basecamp... Do you have your own home grown system? Do you just have an Excel/Word document?   With all this, do you use the same system as

Have a terrific weekend - especially those in the states. Be bless this Memorial Day weekend and be thankful for the sacrifice of those that have gone on before us.Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that:This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:1. Knowledge is power.2. Time is moneyAs every engineer knows: Power = Work/TimeSince:Knowledge = PowerTime = MoneyIt follows that:Knowledge = Work/MoneySolving for Money, we get:Money = Work/KnowledgeNote that, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches Infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

Have a great weekend....As entrepreneurs we tend to want to teach our children the lessons that we have learned. Sometimes this is confusing to them. One entrepreneur sat his four year old son down and said,"It's time for your lesson. What's two plus two?"The little boy said, "Two plus two is six.""No, son." his father said, "Two plus two is not six. Two plus two is four.""I'm sorry, father" said the little boy. "I thought we were negotiating."

As a baker and an engineer, I really appreciated this one. Be blessed and have a terrific weekend.Chocolate Chip Cookie RecipeWhy engineers don't write cook books................Ingredients:532.35 cm3 gluten4.9 cm3 NaHCO34.9 cm3 refined halite236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O114.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehydeTwo calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)Directions:To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor

Howdy and have a mighty fine weekend:Bidding - Additional Requirements Section 1A - The TruthThe requirements of Division 01 and of those documents under bidding requirements and conditions of the contract and anything else we don't think looks good here is null and void. If you know what's good for you, you'd read this real close (meaning the contractor).1.1 The work we did is clearly showed in the attached plans and specifications. Our engineer, whose had plenty of college, spent one hell of a lot of time when he drawed up these here plans and specifications, but nobody can think of everything. Once your bid is in - that's it, brother. From then on, anything wanted by our engineer, or any of his friends, or anybody else (except the contractor) shall be considered as showed, specified or implied and shall be provided by the contractor without no expense to nobody, but himself (meaning the contractor). 1.2 If the work is did without no expense to the contractor, then the work will be

Be blessed and have a terrific weekend.Cubicle One-Liners 1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.  2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. 3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent. 4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. 6. If at first you don't succeed--try management. 7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 8. Never quit... until you have another job. 9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away! 10. Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.11. Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free. 12. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore. 13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.

CAD Monkey   A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a CAD monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can draw in CAD - very fast, clear layouts, no mistakes, well worth the money."The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?""Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects, mark-up drawings, write specifications, some even calculate. All the really useful stuff," said the

††† Have a terrific weekend and be blessed.  †††Engineers aren't boring people, we just get excited over boring things.††† Thanks, Dale †††

You Might be a "High Tech" Redneck...If your e-mail address ends in "over.yonder.com"If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home" PageIf the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop."If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."If you've ever doubled the value of your truck with all the electronics installed.If your baseball cap read "DEC" instead of "CAT"If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.If your wife said "either she or the computer had to go" and you still don't miss her.If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.If you've ever referred to your computer as "Ole Bessy."If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all!" Have a blessed weekend!!!Dale

Have a terrific weekend and don't get to fooled tomorrow.How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?None. That's a second year subject.How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?One, but the rest of the class copies the report.How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?"Will this question be on the final exam?"How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb?Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb?"Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway."How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to desig

If you make a project with a bunch of pipes. When you do the drawing and add a bill of material are you making a pipe BOM?  

I hope things are going better for you than this today!The Engineer's Song(Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies")Come and listen to the story 'bout a man named Jed,  A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed,  Then one day he was talking to a recruiter,  He said, "they'll pay ya big bucks if ya work on a computer",  Well the first thing ya know, ol' Jed's an Engineer,  The kinfolk said, "Jed, move away from here."  They said, "Arizona is the place ya oughta be,"  So he bought some doughnuts and he moved to Ahwautukee  Motorola that is . . dry heat . . no amusement parks.  On his first day at work they stuck him in a cube,  Fed him more doughnuts and sat him at a tube.  They said, "Your project's late but we know just what to do,  Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you fifty-two!"  OT that is . . unpaid . . . Mandatory  The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad,  Some schedules slipped and some ma

Have a blessed weekend! Enjoy time with the ones you love.Engineering Rules1. Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.2. Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.3. A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.4. If you can't fix it -- document it. 5. The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman. I hope your day goes better than these rules.Dale

Have a terrific day and enjoy.... 1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.  2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. 3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent. 4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. 6. If at first you don't succeed--try management. 7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 8. Never quit... until you have another job. 9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away! 10. Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.11. Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free. 12. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore. 13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore. Be blessed,Dale

Admit it (then again maybe not given the topic)....Arguing with an engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a few hours, you realize that he likes it. Have a terrific weekend.Dale

Good day all,I know this is a day early, but I believe you will all enjoy.Best,Toby

Be careful of what you ask for:Have a great weekend. Dale