PTCooler "OffTopic"

CAD Monkey   A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a CAD monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"The Shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can draw in CAD - very fast, clear layouts, no mistakes, well worth the money."The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?""Oh, that one's a Design monkey; it can design systems, layout projects, mark-up drawings, write specifications, some even calculate. All the really useful stuff," said the

††† Have a terrific weekend and be blessed.  †††Engineers aren't boring people, we just get excited over boring things.††† Thanks, Dale †††

You Might be a "High Tech" Redneck...If your e-mail address ends in "over.yonder.com"If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home" PageIf the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop."If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."If you've ever doubled the value of your truck with all the electronics installed.If your baseball cap read "DEC" instead of "CAT"If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.If your wife said "either she or the computer had to go" and you still don't miss her.If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.If you've ever referred to your computer as "Ole Bessy."If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all!" Have a blessed weekend!!!Dale

Have a terrific weekend and don't get to fooled tomorrow.How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?None. That's a second year subject.How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?One, but the rest of the class copies the report.How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?"Will this question be on the final exam?"How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb?Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier.How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard.How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb?"Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway."How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to desig

If you make a project with a bunch of pipes. When you do the drawing and add a bill of material are you making a pipe BOM?  

I hope things are going better for you than this today!The Engineer's Song(Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies")Come and listen to the story 'bout a man named Jed,  A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed,  Then one day he was talking to a recruiter,  He said, "they'll pay ya big bucks if ya work on a computer",  Well the first thing ya know, ol' Jed's an Engineer,  The kinfolk said, "Jed, move away from here."  They said, "Arizona is the place ya oughta be,"  So he bought some doughnuts and he moved to Ahwautukee  Motorola that is . . dry heat . . no amusement parks.  On his first day at work they stuck him in a cube,  Fed him more doughnuts and sat him at a tube.  They said, "Your project's late but we know just what to do,  Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you fifty-two!"  OT that is . . unpaid . . . Mandatory  The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad,  Some schedules slipped and some ma

Have a blessed weekend! Enjoy time with the ones you love.Engineering Rules1. Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.2. Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.3. A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.4. If you can't fix it -- document it. 5. The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman. I hope your day goes better than these rules.Dale

Have a terrific day and enjoy.... 1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.  2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. 3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent. 4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. 6. If at first you don't succeed--try management. 7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 8. Never quit... until you have another job. 9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away! 10. Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.11. Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free. 12. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore. 13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore. Be blessed,Dale

Admit it (then again maybe not given the topic)....Arguing with an engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a few hours, you realize that he likes it. Have a terrific weekend.Dale

Good day all,I know this is a day early, but I believe you will all enjoy.Best,Toby

Be careful of what you ask for:Have a great weekend. Dale

You may be an engineer if ........ you think Roman numerals are cool.... you just tried to remember all of the numerals [I, V, X, L, C, D, M, ....]... you remember the rules for Roman numerals, but can remember the rules of punctuation....you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.Have a great weekend.Dale

You may be an engineer if........ you have ever save a power cord from a broken appliance.... you have ever purchase an appliance "as-is".... you are in the habit of destroying thing to see "how they work".... you can type 70 words per minute, but you can't read your own hand writing.... you have more friends on the internet than in real life.... and to all those friends, have blessed weekend.Dale

Happy Friday All

Good day everyone,Saw this over the weekend and had to share.Hope everyone gets a laughHappy Monday.Best,Toby

I don't want Dale Rosema‌ having all the fun.Best,Toby

Be blessed and have a great weekend:

You may be an engineer if:... You have a "Dilbert" comic displayed in your work area.... You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.... You have ever taken anything apart to see "how it works"... You unfold a cardboard/paperboard box to see what the blank is that they started with and how they had to get the printing on the blank.... You own itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are.Have a terrific weekend.

You may be an engineer if:...Dilbert is your hero....your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50....if you know what a 486DX-50 is....if you use a CAD package to design your son's pinewood derby car....if you window shop at Radio shack.Have a terrific weekend.Dale

Why I'm TiredFor a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood, or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. Here's why: The population of this country is 273 million.  140 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Saddam Hussein. Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from that total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city governments, and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And there

Be blessed and have a Merry Christmas:Dale

Have a terrific weekend - stay warm and be safe:

Enjoy the day. Spend time with the ones you love!

Have a terrific weekend. Be blessed:An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, "Four."The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, "Four."The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, "

I saw something the other day that the last time the NFL had (2) ties in a season was in 1997 when the Indians lost in 7 games in the world series. Looks like history repeated itself with another NFL season with at least (2) ties and the Indians losing in game 7 of the World Series.